Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Another Burger Post: How to Make a Good One.


It's Grilling season. The following magazine article describes how to make a great hamburger, and by that I mean not how it is seasoned, but more fundamentally, how to get the right beef.

First featured in Vogue Magazine, I read it via Yahoo, on Serious Eats, by Adam Kuban.

The following is quoted, but edited, from Adam Kuban:

Nearly Universal Truths

1. Chill "Before grinding chunks of beef, before forming a hamburger, and before cooking a hamburger, make sure that the beef is ice cold. Otherwise, the fat may melt and separate from the lean."
2. Grind: Steingarten concludes you must either grind your own meat or have a trusted butcher grind it for you, for reasons of taste and safety (or, perish the thought, be sentenced to a life of consuming well-done burgers). "Never buy supermarket ground beef unless the butcher there grinds it specially for you." He explains in painstaking detail all of the ways supermarket ground beef can be contaminated. His solution, if you have any questions about the chopped meat you've just bought: "Drop the meat into a pot of boiling water for a minute, fish it out, and pat it dry. Yes, it'll turn gray, but only on the outside, and this will get ground into the rest of the meat and vanish."
3. Fluff: "When forming a hamburger, don't compress the meat. The fluffier, the better. A raw burger should be airy and full of tiny holes that can hold the juices released during cooking, when the fat melts and water is squeezed out from between the proteins."
4. Add Water: Adding the liquid is literally the secret sauce that will make any burger sing. Here is Steingarten's eureka hamburger moment. Forty-eight hours before the Vogue article was due, he discovers that adding a tablespoon and a half of liquid to the ground meat immeasurably improved the burger. He tried cream and water, and they both produced a superior, succulent, juicy, crumbly (which, Steingarten discovered, is a good thing) burger.
5. Season Well: "Don't salt hamburger meat either before or after it is ground. Just before you cook the burger, liberally sprinkle salt on both sides of each patty, and press it lightly. After they're cooked, sprinkle with freshly ground pepper."
6. Flip: Searching for the proper and most delicious burger-cooking technique, Steingarten ends up asking for advice from Kyle Connaughton, the head chef of development at Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck in England. Connaughton follows Harold McGee's finding that if you flip a burger or a steak every fifteen to 30 seconds, the outside surface will get nicely browned while the inside stays relatively cool.
7. No Pressure: "While cooking your hamburger never press down on the patty with your spatula or with anything else." An esteemed New York City chef, Lee Hanson, of Balthazar, Pastis, and Schiller's Liquor Bar, further advises Steingarten that broiling from above is much less likely to dry out the burger.
8. Buns: In searching for the perfect bun, Steingarten notes that "An article in Cook's Illustrated said the best hamburger buns are Pepperidge Farm's Farmhouse Sandwich Rolls (not the company's classic hamburger buns). He tries them and finds them to his liking, though he says "they do need to be compressed a bit before using." He does not tell us if he has found a hamburger bun compressor, though I am sure if I had 15 minutes to go through his kitchen, I would find a reasonable facsimile. Steingarten on Hamburger Greatness
What do we demand of the perfect hamburger? That the meat patty be profoundly beefy in flavor, mouthwateringly browned on the outside, and succulent (a combination of juicy and tender) on the inside. The bread or bun should not interfere with any of these virtues. It should be soft, mild, and unassertive; its job is to absorb every last drop of savory juice trickling from the meat while keeping the burger more or less in one piece and your hands dry. Mouthwatering, beefy, juicy, and tender--not too much to ask from life, but entirely elusive, at least to me. It's not as though I haven't tried. God knows, I've tried.

The Daily Grind
Steingarten discovers that most of New York City's great hamburgers are made with a blend of chuck (specifically the chuck flap) and brisket. Some chefs ask that short rib or hanger steak be thrown in. Steingarten tries to develop his own signature blend. A Waring blender is destroyed in the process. He fails, so in his words, he decides to "forge somebody else's signature." Jeffrey's forged signature blend is two parts chuck, two parts boneless short rib, and one part brisket. He notes that "fat is extremely important to excellence in the hamburger arts because most of the beefy flavor in beef is in the fat."

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory,

Pat Bagley / Salt Lake Tribune

The Republican Party is doing everything it can to relinquish control of the White House to the Democrats.

Republicans are overseeing an expensive war that is unpopular, indicted congressman, a tanked economy, buyouts of poorly managed banks, foreclosures at an all time high, and a President that is making little effort to connect to the general public. A unified Democratic Party could roll out a Teletubby and win the election . . .

But they insist on looking this Republican gift horse in the mouth, in effect, rejecting the office. If they do lose, Mrs. Clinton will be justifiably excoriated for not deferring to Barack Obama. Her insistence on staying in the race "for the good of those whose voice deserves to be heard," is not only dishonest, but wrong-headed. She knows she can't win unless some revelation about Sen Obama buries him, and if the Rev. Wright thing didn't get him, I doubt anything will.

Democrat optimists argue that what happens now will be forgotten in November. Hmmm, mostly true, but . . .

What will remain is the rancor between the sub-parties. The Clinton/Carter/Lieberman, dare I say moderate wing, versus the Kennedy/Kerry/Obama radical left wing is a split in the Democrat party similar to the split in the Republican party, except for the fact that Republicans make the necessary compromises for the general good. The only possible outcome that would temporarily join those wings is an Obama/Clinton team. If this primary feud continues, that option will become more unlikely. The rift between the two groups runs deep and goes back to the Carter/Kennedy primary campaign in 1976.

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Counterpoint: because of this long-playing primary Democrats are registering voters in record numbers, which could help them in November.

Counter / Counterpoint -- those newly registered, especially in states like Pennsylvania, could end up voting for McCain, a very moderate Republican.

Any thoughts?

Monday, March 31, 2008

Monday, Monday. Women 101.

A recent email from my sister, I think it's funny:
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans(-15)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???