Top 10 things a guy shouldn't say to his wife right before she returns from visiting her sister.

The ten things I should not say right before my wife returns Monday . . .

Number ...

10. I'm thinking we should have gone for more of a wine color on that new carpet.

9.  Everything's being going great. No problems whatsoever.

8.  Children eat free at Hooters.

7. Mail? I'll check on that.

6. Where do we keep the cat food?

5. Does Fabreze work on cigar smoke?

4. Somebody hacked the Netflix account and added Girls Gone Wild to "Recently Viewed."

3. There is dust on everything. It's amazing.

2. I don't know it's been a while since I have been outside.

And the number one thing I better not say:

1. Children?

..

(I love you dear and we are very much looking forward to your return)