Knee pain and the Sky Mall Catalog

At some point, on my average coach-fare flight, after I have slept through every piece of reading material that I have, I will be desperate for something to distract me from my throbbing knee caps.

And, eventually, as happened on Sunday's flight, I'll reach for that rag of last resort: the Sky Mall Catalog.

And I will wonder, Who buys this stuff? To wit:

The inflatable Pillow Tie?

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Rollerblades? bicycle? skateboard? Hell no --

I want the Orbit Wheels for my Trinity River Park workouts.
Here I am wondering, "I wonder if these things have brakes?"

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Pink flamingos are too old fashioned for my yard.

The Yenti Big Foot Yard Ornament is more my style.

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But what I really need is more hair. See the little red light at the top?

That means the i-Restore Hair Laser is restoring hair to my balding head.
Don't I look happy? I wonder what book I am reading?
"How to Recover from Cancer Caused by Infrared Light" maybe?

So there you have it. My Christmas wish-list straight from the American Airlines Sky Mall catalog. Front pocket of Seat 22D.

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Ronald Reagan Tells a Story (or, why I loved the Gipper)

Since it's the start of the long presidential horse race, here's a short story from the President I admired the most. He was able to make fun of political differences of opinion and he knew the limits of tasteful humor, guided by charity and manners.

It's short. Listen closely.

In-N-Out Burger. The Maiden Voyage.

Like you, I have heard the reports. Like you, I have seen the crowds, and yes, I have watched the videos of mile-long lines. I scoffed and I mocked . . .

But I had never been . . . to the In-N-Out Burger.

Marian enjoying our exciting date to In-N-Out Fort Worth.

Until tonight when Marian and I made our maiden voyage to Fort Worth's, 7th Street In-N-Out Burger.

Our Verdict: an excellent burger and fries.

Is it over-hyped? Is the hamburger/fries combination really better than the average fast food restaurant? Well, yea, it kind of is.

I don't mean it's a gourmet hamburger like M&O just down the street. But for the money, what you get at In-N-Out is a pretty good deal: fresh never frozen hamburger patties, an excellent freshly-made bun, fresh, crisp iceburg lettuce, a real tomato slice, and real potato french fries cooked perfectly, all for about six bucks if you get the double. If you get the single the cost is about five dollars. Not bad because the food is good. As my son says, it's a perfect combination of ingredients where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

I like the simplicity of the In-N-Out operation. They sell hamburgers, fries, and shakes. If you want a latte or chai tea go somewhere else. In-N-Out has made good on simplicity and freshness. Years ago, while McDonald's (a company I admire, by the way) was freezing and franchising it's way across the country, In-N-Out was plodding along with a couple stores in California and a rock solid commitment to freshness. It caught on in California and built a loyal, read, very loyal, even annoyingly loyal following.

Now 60 years later, expansion has finally reached past Arizona into Texas and by the looks of things their reputation has spread with the expansion. On the second day of opening in Fort Worth the drive-thru line was 25 cars long at 6:30 PM when we visited and the walk-in line was 50 people. But from the time we got in line to the time we got our food we waited just under twenty-five minutes. Not bad.

So to Travis and Stephen, thanks for the advice, we're now a part of the In-N-Out family. And I'll be going back.

Addendum or Part Deux.

I just returned from my second visit with a better idea how to order. I ordered a double/double with grilled onions and green chilis, extra cooked french fries. Wow. My companion had the french fries "animal," which is fries with their secret sauce, cheese, and grilled onions. Fantastic. 3 of us: $18.

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Francis Albert Sinatra - Summer Wind

The vegan bacon clip.

Okay, before everyone criticizes me for the childish, insensitive, and low form of humor in the video below, I just want to say that my son and his friends have been encouraging me to watch the television show, Parks and Recreation, which I have refused to do because I don't want to encourage that sort of thing.

Neverthless, I am posting the video in the hopes that he will see that I have made some concession to his interests.

I do not condone or endorse this kind of behavior.

Then again, I do like bacon.