My Failed Job Interviews

Image: Psychology Today

If human resources departments gave grades for job interviews I would be given an F. That's right, an F for Failed, or another word that begins with the same letter.

I'm just no good at it.

I guess I have been fortunate. I had never needed to do a serious job interview until I was near fifty, then for whatever reason, I decided I needed to get a real job, the kind where you have to take tests, and answer scientifically chosen questions about yourself and your knowledge of the business.

And then to be interviewed, which was to become my stumbling block.

"Why do you want to work here at Schmedly and Sons?"

This is a tricky one. "Because I'm looking for a job you stupid SOB," is not the right answer.

"Tell me a weakness you have as it relates to business." 

If I know that I am supposed to say, "I work too much and expect too little in compensation because that's the way my depression-era parents raised me," shouldn't I assume that he knows I am going to say it and that it's not true.

Once, when applying for a sales position, I was asked why I considered myself a good salesman. My answer was that I must not be a good salesman because if I was a good salesman I wouldn't be looking for a job. Wrong answer. I didn't get the job.

On another interview I was asked to talk about myself and my experience. I hate talking about myself, so I asked her if she had read my resume. She replied, yes, curtly, and asked me to talk about myself anyway. I said, read the resume, that's what they are for. Wrong attitude. She ended the interview.

The weirdest HR guy I ever met didn't say much of anything. He just smiled, nodded, and said, "go on," like a priest in the confessional. I soon ran out of things to talk about and by the third, "go on," I think I was rambling on about my kids and camping or some such nonsense.

Needless to say, I wasn't offered the job.

I do think it's about time for a more human approach to the hiring process, but even then, I doubt if I will be very good at it.

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Texas Rangers Win American League Pennant.

Star-Telegram/Ron Jenkins

 The Texas Rangers win the American League pennant. Amazing. I was so excited I could hardly sleep.

One of the oddest and most enjoyable statistics for this series: the Texas Rangers and the New York Yankees had the greatest player salary disparity in baseball playoff history. New York Yankees: $206 million. Texas Rangers: $55 million.

If the Phillies could somehow win two in a row and meet the Rangers in the World Series, all would be right in heaven. Besides could you imagine a Lee / Halladay match-up?

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Eataly. NYC. An appraisal.

Eataly, New York City

"Is Eataly a menace (so big and corporate) or an answered prayer (OMG, they sell Barilla bucatini)? Does it represent a step forward for Italian food at the upper end of the economic spectrum of New York, or is it simply a mass-market retail play that capitalizes on the fame of its most visible partners, Mario Batali . . .?"

That's how New York Time's reviewer, Sam Sifton, begins his appraisal of New York's new Italian food market. For me, I don't care if it's a food lover's step forward or a corporate move backwards, I just want to go.

For food and market lovers it's an article worth reading. Great pictures, too.

Eataly Offers Italy by the Ounce
New York Times
Sam Sifton
October 19, 2010

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5 things I don't understand that others do understand. Or seem to.

Weddings. I definitely do not understand the modern wedding with its event-like atmosphere. And I wonder,   "Is the male a necessary or accidental component in a wedding? I mean if the girls could have a wedding without the guy, would they?

NASCAR. I like cars and I like driving fast, but I do not get the interest in this particular event. There's a big concrete circle, cars that look all the same except the color, and hairy man-fans with a man-crush on a driver. No thanks. 

Chicken and dumplings. It's bland, it's gooey, it doesn't smell very good, it looks worse, and it would taste a lot better if the components were left separate.

Chewing tobacco. How does this habit start?

Hair frosting for men. Look, if you're a guy and you've had your hair frosted, it's nothing personal, but is it really worth sitting in one of those beauty parlors with aluminum foil on your head to get the hair you want? I mean . . . dude, man-up a little.

That's it. You can go back to what you were doing . . .

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University Park's Barnes & Noble Closing? Say it ain't so . . .

The Agora in Athens.

Athens had its Agora, Rome its Forum, London its markets and pubs. And South Philly ... the corner deli. They are all much the same. A place to meet, shop, eat & drink, gossip, and let the kids run around a little with friends. Now, air-conditioning and automobiles later, we have malls, plazas, and stores the size of the Colosseum, but our places are not so much different than the places of ancient Greece.

Which brings me to the not so happy point ---

On December 31, we will lose a big part of the unofficial meeting place for many Fort Worthians, the Barnes & Noble in University Village Park. And everyone I talk to has the same reaction to its closing, something like, "Now where are we going to go?"

It has become, in the ten years at that location, a "get-a-way" from the job or the kids, a meeting place for joggers, bikers, dog-walkers, and cigar smokers. It is our "public house," as it were, where we grab a cup of coffee, meet a friend to chat, or just sit down with a book and a cappuccino. Couples like it, shoppers like it, husbands like it, children like it. It's the starting point for walking, talking, shopping, and coffee drinking, and it just kind of works.

And we all hate to hear it's going away.

There are the stated or public reasons for the closing. The lease is up and Barnes and Noble doesn't want to pay the high rates of that commercial space. The shopping center people can't be blamed for asking the rate the market will bear. And B&N is looking to cut costs. The company itself is up for sale. It's share of the book business is steadily declining, suffering from a two sided attack: Amazon and online sales of printed books, and the new e-book sales for readers like the Kindle, Nook, and iPad. That doesn't leave much room for growth for the old bookstore.

Well, chin up. Something will take its place. I hear the Starbucks' Store is staying, which is some consolation.

But to the Barnes & Noble folks. Thank you. You have a great store, friendly staff, and you make everyone feel welcome. It won't be the same without you.

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