Cool, Clear Water.

Knee pain and the Sky Mall Catalog

At some point, on my average coach-fare flight, after I have slept through every piece of reading material that I have, I will be desperate for something to distract me from my throbbing knee caps.

And, eventually, as happened on Sunday's flight, I'll reach for that rag of last resort: the Sky Mall Catalog.

And I will wonder, Who buys this stuff? To wit:

The inflatable Pillow Tie?

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Rollerblades? bicycle? skateboard? Hell no --

I want the Orbit Wheels for my Trinity River Park workouts.
Here I am wondering, "I wonder if these things have brakes?"

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Pink flamingos are too old fashioned for my yard.

The Yenti Big Foot Yard Ornament is more my style.

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But what I really need is more hair. See the little red light at the top?

That means the i-Restore Hair Laser is restoring hair to my balding head.
Don't I look happy? I wonder what book I am reading?
"How to Recover from Cancer Caused by Infrared Light" maybe?

So there you have it. My Christmas wish-list straight from the American Airlines Sky Mall catalog. Front pocket of Seat 22D.

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Ronald Reagan Tells a Story (or, why I loved the Gipper)

Since it's the start of the long presidential horse race, here's a short story from the President I admired the most. He was able to make fun of political differences of opinion and he knew the limits of tasteful humor, guided by charity and manners.

It's short. Listen closely.