A Couple of Words.

I was working on a house remodel the other day and noticed the word "plenum" on the central heater instructions. It is the box-like chamber that holds the hot air.  I knew what the plenum was, but for the first time it struck me as odd because technical description words are usually functional and self-explanatory, like screw-driver, or refrigerator. "Plenum" seemed like it may have a history, so I looked it up. Indeed, it is an old Latin word, used to describe a chamber that holds a gas with a positive pressure. Its opposite is "vacuum," as in "horror vacui", or "nature abhors a vacuum." I guess if nature abhors a vacuum, it's fond of a plenum?

Since it is Halloween, I have noticed a lot of candy advertisements, and the word "nougat" caught my attention.  It is a word that strikes me as funny. I looked it up also, knowing that it is the filling in a Mars bar, but not knowing that is usually made of sugar, egg whites and nuts. Nougat has French origins and is related to the word, "nut." Next time you are with friends, and after a few glasses of adult beverages have been consumed, just say the word. Nougat. See what happens.

I keep seeing the phrase, "man up," or its local cousin,"cowboy up." I don't know if this phrase is new, but it is to me. I like the "cowboy up" version. It has a nice local sound, and the "b" in boy and "p" in "up" work nicely together. I take it to mean, "quit your whining and get on with it," a sentiment I embrace for men. Not to put too serious a twist on an otherwise purposeless post, but I think the world could use a little re-appreciation for the traditional male virtues: Courage, Loyalty, Faithfulness. If that is the meaning of the phrase, I am all for it.

For now, anyway.

Thoughts on Shortcuts.

It had been a while since I have had to drive to Dallas in the morning -- and in rush hour traffic. No one likes it. I am glad I no longer do it. But as I was making my way today and the traffic locked up, I decided to take an exit and attempt -- the back road short-cut.

It worked. In minutes I was back to cruising and feeling good. Very good.

My father was the king of shortcuts. He had a shortcut for everything; whether he was washing dishes, cutting the grass, or driving me somewhere, eventually he would devise some way of doing it faster.

Americans, by nature I think, like to find a faster, better way to do whatever it is that needs done. Henry Ford did not invent the internal combustion engine, but he did find an inexpensive way to attach it to an automobile body. Michael Dell didn't invent the personal computer, but he did find the most profitable way to sell them. Google perfected (for now) the ultimate shortcut, the search engine. Faster, better, there is just something about it that we like.

A final comment on shortcuts and cars.

Boasting about shortcut prowess is not advised. The gods of shortcutting will soon cut you down by making the alternate route worse than the main route. I know. Unfortunately, shortcuts work best when one is driving solo, as if these gods kept watch to ensure we enthusiasts don't take too much credit for our success.

That's just the way it is.

Self Check-out Salvation

I dislike lines. Not the necessary lines of life that can not be avoided, like waiting at the airport check-in counter, but the ones where the wait can be avoided. Like the supermarket check-out line.

It seems I am always behind the cell phone lady who decides to look for her debit card after the cashier is finished ringing up the order. Miss "I'm- too-busy-to-get-off-my-cell-phone" then performs the ritual thirty-second purse search, determines that her debit card is lost and decides to write a check, but can't find a pen . . . and on and on, it goes.

While I wait. Just a diet Coke and me. Waiting. And somewhere around her pen-search my head flops against the magazine rack and I ask the Fount of all that is Good what evil I have committed. And I curse. I pray and I curse. While I wait.

Which is why I am so fond of the self-checkout. Human contact be damned, I'll take the vicissitudes of this machine any day. I have heard the arguments against them, loss of personal interaction and frequent breakdowns of the software, but frankly, the impersonal "personal contact" of the check out guy is annoying and the machines are not so unreliable. I actually like checking myself out.

But most importantly, charge, debit, cash or credit, they are faster . . . and quieter, and at the grocery store faster and quieter is better.