Friday, June 10, 2011

The Middle Seat. The final travel post.

The middle seat: a space that passengers of aisle and window seats expect to be vacant, as in empty, as in open, as in no one there.

The window seat gazes heavenward, the aisle seat grants the legroom of earth, but the middle is in between. The middle seat is purgatory.

It is the seating assignment that purges its occupant of self-worth because it is there that one is  squeezed between two unknown masses and aware that it is the space you now uncomfortably occupy that they want. You are held responsible, a thief of their comfort, an elbow room bandit.

No one talks to the middle seat occupant, he or she is personna non grata.

And if the ignominy of this seating assignment isn't bad enough the physical limitations are. To wit:  three bodies equals six arms but three seats equals four arm-rests which equals trouble, because if all three occupants of the aisle have some girth, shoulders touch, thighs touch, and those extra arms overlap or fight for the thin strips of arm-rest real estate.

Add to this one other element and you get the seating assignment hat-trick from hell.

I am referring to a person in front of you who insists on total recline of his seat during the flight. A middle seat, large neighbors, and a seat reclined onto your knees and one is certain that the gods have spoken and that sins are being atoned for right here, right now, by me, and my knees, and my elbows.

Yes, I have just peeled myself from the middle seat.



Jake Good said...

first world problems

Lynn said...

The cure for that sense of being subdued, is pizza at Pie5. Or a cone at Braum's. Or a big bowl of mac and cheese (but not, oh please, that poor excuse for it which I ate at lunch: neither lean, nor cuisine; won't make that mistake again). Welcome back to God's country. [word verif is "proper", which we all know that I am]

Francis Shivone said...

Lynn -- I went to Pie5 but can't say it ranks up there with Cavalli's or Il Cane Rosso. I like the concept, individual pizzas, kind of Subway- delivery style.

But the pizza was not that good. IMHO. Thanks for the suggestion. Long live the Chop House Burger.